Me: Ok before I reset your password can I verrify your social security number?

Customer: What, do you mean my social security number?

Me: (What I said) Um, yeah.

Me: (What I wanted to say) No bitch! I want the fucking social security number of the President of Keibler, Dick Cheney's, and while were at it how about Al Capone's?

I was on my way to work this morning and while stuck behind a slow moving mini van I saw a combination of bumper stickers that just made me angry. First of all they had a Catholic Radio bumper sticker on the back. While this alone isn’t enough to piss me off directly next to it they had one that was some tripe about how abortion is murder. Thirdly they had one of the "Mission Accomplished" bumper stickers. This was accompanied by a "W" sticker and one spouting a "down with Iraq" type slogan. I want to know how you can be against killing our babies and for killing the babies of people in another country.

This van also featured several "support out troops" ribbons on the side in addition to the large amount of Bush stickers. Is it just me or is supporting our current president the least effective way possible of supporting our troops.

I want to make a ribbon sticker that has the big W in the center with the slogan "Slaughter our troops" around it. Either that or a picture of a big nuclear warhead with a ribbon around it and a Merry Christmas style tag marked "To: N. Korea Love: George." Either of those would be equally exasperating and just as silly.

Co Worker: Looks like we're going to have to do this the old fashion way...

Me: You mean pray to God that it works untill someone decides we are praying to the wrong god and beheads and burns us?

Co Worker: ...Are you on heroin?

Me: Does Oxycotin count?

Co Worker: Well that explains alot.

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Co Worker: Man the internet is slower then Corky from Life Goes On.
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Co Worker: Huh, Jackie Chan was in a porno.

Me: Entering the Dragon?
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Ok, it’s been a while since I've done one of these, and at the risk of beating a dead horse I've decided to do one last installment of bumper stumpers. The following are all license plates generated off of the Michigan Secretary of State custom plate generator. All of these made it through their database of inappropriate plates, though I doubt the clerk at the office would give you any of them if she were paying attention. Hope you all enjoy it because it’s the last one I plan on doing.

( Cut for really big image of licence plates. )